xluvpandazx

Sometimes, I just want to SCREAM and SHOUT
My mind is in the Depths so Low
I dont know what to Think...when I already Know
Me being like this is normal, but it KILLS inside
Not knowing Who to go to...When...and Why
Its all bottled up Inside, it feels like it cracks every Time...


I know there are People out there who Say they Care...that they\\\'re there for Me...No matter what...that I matter...and so on
But for some Reason, I cant find Myself to Believe it.
can i Really call these people Friends?
I dont feel like there\\\'s Anyone because it\\\'s all the same
They Come and Go
[Used]
I dont Mind really, but it gets to me
I deal with enough at Home with family, so why not Give me a break at School?
i Do
i Say
i Try
yet no matter what, my work ends me in crying


every night, alone...crying
is worse than Dying..to be forgotten is worse than death
Knowing that the People you Love are so Close, in Arms Reach
Caring for them all, Each
yet...they\\\'re so Far
it Hurts
make it stop...
it Hurts
hurts
.
.
.
m
y

h
e
a
r
t
.
.
.

how come the pain wont go away?
does God want me to suffer?
did i do many wrongs?
is this my punishment?


I\\\'m here: always was and always will be
but what about you? Where are you when i need you the most?
where Were you when i needed you the most?


my life is my will
so many words to describe me and my life...
yet one is all...
DIE


everyone..from the start...
had broken my heart...
first, it was my family,
but as time went by...the cracks and gaps got bigger.
not only from family, but from friends too...
even i destroyed myself
so my heart has been broken for these many years
falling piece by piece each and everytime
you can try to staple it, tape it, glue it, mesh it together...
but you only get one heart, and nothing can repair the scars it leaves behind


it\\\'s so much easier for everyone else or somebody to cope with this
doing this doing that
saying this saying that
but its me. im not you


putting a smile on my face is so hard
because i dont want it to be a mask
meaning im Lying
that\\\'s why i am the way i am
do and say the things i do and say


so if you dont want to have a Friend like me
tell me. i understand
im already Heart Broken have been..by many
its hard for me to see my Friends see me like this
so, im sorry
i dont know what else to do
but thank you